yellow grass

I suppose cliches happen for a reason.

Like they are relateable.  Like they happen time and time again.

So here I am being predictable and cliche, writing about grass being green. Usually when it is on the other side.


Once it is gone, I miss it. For years, it was watching over my shoulder…pushing me to pull me closer. And I resented it. I was fearful of it. I repeatedly held back, pushing it away. And now, all I want in the world is to hold it so tight and never let it go.

And now that it is gone I miss it. I only appreciate it now that it is gone. What a damn cliche.

“The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.”

Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

the exception

you are two people…

the man i know you to be and the man whose actions tell me differently

the man i hope you to be and the man who i know you are

the man that i thought i knew and the man that i don’t know at all

my best friend and the one who causes all of my pain

the one i could tell anything to and the one who holds it against me

the man that i love and the man that i hate

the man that i love and the man that i love

love and war

I can’t sleep. I am waking up at 5a.m. on mornings with no school/work. All night I am up every couple of hours. I cant eat either. Why? A boy. a stupid boy. who makes me feel like no other boy i have ever met has made me feel. who is funny and smart. when i hear his name my heart pounds and my mind races and i just sit there hoping that no one can tell. and a boy who makes me feel beautiful.

also a boy who i have been trying to stay away from. who i have been trying to convince myself is just a friend and convince myself doesn’t feel the same way about me.  All to make the inevitable easier. but last night all of my walls and guards came crashing down and so did his. i couldn’t resist. how can you listen to you head when you heart and body are telling you something different.


i have, perhaps the most important question here, is all is fair in love and war?

what are the rules. i would like to see a copy, please. i seriously feel sick to my stomach right now. why does it have to so confusing? i know that it can’t possibly work. yet here i am.

i am seriously regretting my decision for the name of this blog. i dont want my life colored with the chaos of trouble. i want it uniform and tidy.


i just came across this pic on

Story of my life.