love and war

I can’t sleep. I am waking up at 5a.m. on mornings with no school/work. All night I am up every couple of hours. I cant eat either. Why? A boy. a stupid boy. who makes me feel like no other boy i have ever met has made me feel. who is funny and smart. when i hear his name my heart pounds and my mind races and i just sit there hoping that no one can tell. and a boy who makes me feel beautiful.

also a boy who i have been trying to stay away from. who i have been trying to convince myself is just a friend and convince myself doesn’t feel the same way about me.  All to make the inevitable easier. but last night all of my walls and guards came crashing down and so did his. i couldn’t resist. how can you listen to you head when you heart and body are telling you something different.


i have, perhaps the most important question here, is all is fair in love and war?

what are the rules. i would like to see a copy, please. i seriously feel sick to my stomach right now. why does it have to so confusing? i know that it can’t possibly work. yet here i am.

i am seriously regretting my decision for the name of this blog. i dont want my life colored with the chaos of trouble. i want it uniform and tidy.


i just came across this pic on

Story of my life.




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